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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25212031">Some New Thoughts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RABNerd28/pseuds/RABNerd28'>RABNerd28</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, F/F, Gen, Questioning, Watch Talks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:22:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>881</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25212031</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RABNerd28/pseuds/RABNerd28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"What did he write?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fjord &amp; Jester Lavorre (mentioned), Jester Lavorre &amp; Yasha, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett (Implied)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Some New Thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>There's technically some Fjorester in here, but it's only mentioned and I did't want to add it to the tag. This is mostly how I see Jester admitting she no longer has a crush on Fjord going down, along with what I think her sexuality crisis is doing right now.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jester looked at the woods that surrounded them. Nothing stood out, and there were no sudden sounds. They seemed to be safe for now. She took out her sketchbook and looked at the first page. The hamster unicorns and rainbows made her smile sadly. It has been a long journey. She flipped to the most recent page and started to draw the events of the past few days. Yasha playing her harp. Caduceus getting swallowed, The ghostly figure they fought. Beau punching the ghost. Then just Beau. She smiled as she finished up her sketches, when her eyes glanced to the writing from the night before.</p><p>“Go on, and kiss him tomorrow, Jester. Fjord is ready for you.” Her stomach curled, and not in the good way. If this was at the start of her time with the 9, she would have loved it. Would like to hear encouragement on her crush from the Traveler. Would probably think he’s right, but now...</p><p>“What did he write?” Jester startled herself at Yasha’s voice. She was so lost in her own thoughts she almost forgot that Yasha was there.</p><p>“What?” Jester asked as she collected herself quickly.</p><p>“The Traveler,” Yasha answered. “You said you’d tell me what he wrote later.” Jester remembered that. Yasha had asked, but she didn’t want to say it in front of the others. “You don’t have to tell me.”</p><p>“No, no.” Jester quickly flipped the page away from her current drawings and handed the sketchbook to Yasha. “You can look.”</p><p>Yasha took the book from her hand and looked at the Travelers writing. “‘Go on, and kiss him tomorrow, Jester. Fjord is ready for you.’” She read aloud. Jester felt her ears go hot. Yasha paused for a moment before her eyes went wide. “Oh, right. You like Fjord.” She handed the sketchbook back to Jester.</p><p>“Yeah.” Jester whispered as she returned it to her bag. “I like Fjord.” Yasha tilted her head at Jester. “What?”</p><p>“Do you?” Yasha stared at her. Jester could have easily played it off, but something about Yasha made her want to talk.</p><p>Jester grabbed her tail and started playing with it. “Well...he’s attractive. Very muscular. And I liked him a lot when we first met.”</p><p>“But…”</p><p>“But,” Jester took a deep breath. “I don’t have a crush on him anymore.” She’d never actually said it out loud. It weirdly felt like a weight lifting off her shoulders.</p><p>“Oh okay.” Yasha didn’t seem all that surprised.</p><p>“I think I just had a lot of ideas in my head, y’know. From the stories I read and heard as a kid.”</p><p>“And you thought Fjord fit into those stories?”</p><p>“Yeah. But the more I got to know him, the more he didn’t fit it. The more I also realized that stories aren’t reality. You shouldn’t want stories.”</p><p>“There’s nothing wrong with stories Jester.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“Is there someone who fits into your stories now?” Jester thought for a moment. All she could imagine is her and Beau. The two of them being together and having fun for the rest of their lives. Beau and her sweet moves as she fought bad guys, and worked out, and showed off her muscles...Jester shook herself from her head.</p><p>“I don’t know. Maybe not my stories.” She squeezed her tail again, and then a question came to her mind. She didn’t even think as she blurted it out. “How did you know that you liked girls?”</p><p>Yasha was silent for a moment. “That’s hard to explain.”</p><p>“Was it super weird? Like it was a werewolf who made you realize or something?”</p><p>“No. It’s just sometimes hard to put feelings into words. I guess I always kinda knew. Even when I was young I knew I wanted to marry a girl. When I was older, I knew they were all beautiful. Even if I would only end up with one.”</p><p>“So you always know?”</p><p>“Sometimes. Some people it takes a while. I can’t really explain it.” Yasha threw a stick into the fire, before looking back at Jester. “Jester, do you like girls?”</p><p>“I don’t know! Maybe…” It was becoming painful to pull on her tail, but it was also a comfort so she kept doing it. “I was around a lot of pretty women growing up, and I just always thought I found them pretty because that was their job. Be pretty so people will have sex with you.” “Then I left, and there are a lot of pretty girls in the world.” Yasha smiled at her.</p><p>“There are. And if you want to be with them you should.”</p><p>“You’re very nice Yasha.”</p><p>“And this person, when you figure things out, you should tell them how you feel.”</p><p>“What if I don’t actually feel that way?”</p><p>“Then you don’t tell them.”</p><p>“What if they don’t like me back? And they get super offended because I assumed they would just because I’m a girl.”</p><p>“Telling someone how you feel is always scary. You just have to try.”</p><p>“Alright. Thank you Yasha.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.” Yasha then reached into her bag and pulled out her harp. “Is it okay if I practice?”</p><p>“Of course.” Jester let go of her tail as Yasha started to pluck. The music was hauntingly beautiful.</p>
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